Help Me Nurture My Child: Navigating Reactive Attachment Disorder

Reactive attachment disorder (RAD)is a serious condition that presents itself in infants or young children. This disorder develops when the infant/young child does not have the basic needs of nurturing met. When the need for comfort, affection, or stability is not met, the infant/young child will not establish any bonds with the parent.

Learning to navigate the care of a child who has been diagnosed with RAD can be challenging. It is important to understand how to establish the bond, grow the connection, and create a secure and stable relationship with the child.

God desires this type of relationship for parents and children. Understanding what RAD is and how to navigate the development of the child is one step to reaching that desire of God’s heart.

Grandchildren are the crown of the old, and the glory of sons is their fathers. – Proverbs 17:6, NASB

Causes, symptoms, and risk factors of RAD.

Identifying the causes, symptoms, and risk factors of reactive attachment disorder is typically easy in a child who has suffered abuse or has been unable to form an attachment to their parent or caregiver.

The most noted causes of RAD are:

• Abuse and/or neglect can cause the child to feel alone.
• Unpredictable/inconsistent caregiving.
• Feeling unsafe.
• Lack of hygiene.
• Too many caretakers.
• Insecurity about food.

The typical symptoms that are noted in a child who is diagnosed with reactive attachment disorder are:

• Does not make eye contact.
• Avoids physical touch.
• Unhappy for no reason .
• Doesn’t express emotions such as remorse.
• No response with emotions as expected.
• Childish behavior.
•  Withdrawn.
• Does not comply with boundaries.

Risk factors for RAD are:

• Extreme poverty.
• Inexperienced parents.
• Physical, verbal, emotional, or sexual abuse.
• Removal from an abusive home.
• Parents with mental health issues, drug abuse problems or anger issues.
• Frequent changes in their caregiver.
• Living in an orphanage.
• Institutional care.
• Prolonged stay in the hospital.

Best ways to nurture a child with Reactive Attachment Disorder.

Being a parent of a child who suffers from reactive attachment disorder can prove to be challenging and overwhelming. Using the Bible as a guide you can learn to nurture your child and create a healthy bond.

Education is important.

One of the most important things to do in the beginning is to educate you and your family about RAD. Understanding the issues can help with creating a plan of nurturing that will promote a change that will help your child overcome reactive attachment disorder. Each person in the family must understand the causes and symptoms in order to work effectively as a family unit to help the child form healthy relationships. (Philippians 2:4-5)

Engage in family therapy.

Working together in a faith-based therapy program will create a sense of togetherness for the child, parents, and other siblings. (Colossians 3:13)

Maintain realistic expectations.

Don’t expect to reach goals that are not feasible. Don’t set a goal that will cause your child to distance themselves even more if they do not meet that goal. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Celebrate the small things.

When your child accomplishes a feat that is important to them be sure to celebrate with them. Even if the feat was small to you, you must recognize that they put forth the effort to complete something they were not comfortable doing. (1 Thessalonians 5:11)

Be intentional with your presence.

When you are spending time with your child it is important to show them that you are focused on them. As they see you engage with them on purpose they can begin to form a trusting relationship. (Romans 12:10)

Practice patience.

Children do not process the same way as adults. They tend to process in bits and pieces which can take months or years. Be patient and let them process in a way that will promote healing. The last thing that needs to happen is for them to think they have to be okay when they need a little more time. (Ephesians 4:2-3)

Teach and explain boundaries.

By setting small and doable boundaries you can help your child learn what boundaries are and how to respect them in all areas of life. This will help them learn that the only meaning of yes is yes. (Proverbs 22:6)

Be willing to listen.

A child will share when they are ready. You must be willing to listen to them when they want to discuss the trauma that may have caused RAD. Be sure that as you listen you also reassure them that they are not to blame for someone else’s behavior. (James 1:19)

Make time for yourself.

As we have mentioned it can be challenging to care for a child suffering from RAD. It is normal to feel frustrated or guilty. This is why as a caregiver it is important to take time to relieve stress. Coping with reactive attachment disorder can weigh on the caregiver’s emotions and cause more chaos. (Psalm 51:10-12)

Next steps.

Parenting is tough. Parenting a child with reactive attachment disorder is tougher. There are ways to nurture your child and begin to build a secure bond with them through God’s word.

If you are desiring to get assistance with your child who suffers from RAD please contact a Christian counselor near you. They will help you set up a scripture-based plan that will provide encouragement to help you and your child achieve a healthy and balanced lifestyle.