Has your heart ever been so filled with worry, anger, frustration, or sadness that it seems too hard to pray? Or maybe the prayer that keeps swirling in your mind is a plea for help, and it’s the same plea over and over again, filled with angst and emotions that seem to grow bigger and bigger with each distressed plea, even affecting your mental health?
In times of intense struggle, sometimes those repeated prayers – such as “God, heal this person, heal this person, heal this person” – can feed the anxiety instead of bringing peace to the emotional storm brewing inside. Why? Because those prayers solely focus on the problem instead of the ultimate Problem Solver, our Heavenly Father.
Of course, God loves it when we pray to Him, no matter what the prayers. However, following a simple four-step format can help improve our mental health by bringing peace and hope to our hearts and minds.
Praying through the four steps of prayer, encouraged by such ministries as Moms in Prayer International, helps us bring our concerns to the Lord – and then leave them there, so we can walk forward in peace and hope.
Philippians 4:5b-7 explains it this way: “The Lord is near. Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”
Step one: Praise.
The first of the four prayer steps is praise. When we start by praising God for who He is, His attributes and His characteristics, we are reminded that He is the Lord who is near (as stated in Phil 4:5). He comforts; He is able; He is strong; He is our refuge, etc. (For lists of For lists of Characters of God, Attributes of God, and Names of God, visit www.momsinprayer.org.)
Step two: Confession.
Psalm 139:23-24 says, “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” We ask God to heal our hurts and pain when we ask Him to search our hearts, see our anxieties and fears, and confess our offenses.
Spending time with Jesus and allowing Him to lovingly search our hearts and explore our anxious thoughts might feel difficult. But God is gentle, gracious, kind, and compassionate, and wants us to walk in His forgiveness and grace.
What are your fears and anxieties? Ask God to examine your heart and explore your emotions. He wants our authenticity because it brings healing to heart, mind, body and soul. Besides, we can’t hide our emotions from God, so we might as well tell Him. Throughout the Psalms are examples of King David and other Psalmists naming their deep, hard and painful emotions, and telling them to the God who hears and understands.
Take time to explore any hurtful ways, anything that needs to be confessed to allow God’s healing forgiveness. He promises to forgive every sin we repent of (Psalm 103) and bring peace and healing to our hearts.
Step three: Thanksgiving.
In the NASB, Philippians 4:6b-7 is translated this way: “with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”
Today’s research continues to show the mental health benefits of intentionally being grateful. (Click here to read Cyndie’s previous article on this topic.) Offering God prayers of thanksgivings reminds us of the blessings God has given us and how He has weaved together our past struggles in sometimes miraculous ways.
Being thankful reminds us of God’s great sovereignty, compassion, and power, and can help propel us toward hope as we cling to Jesus with today’s heartache.
Step four: Intercession.
After praising God, letting Him examine our hearts and thanking Him for what He’s done – and will do – then our hearts are more ready to hand over our concerns to our Heavenly Father.
Instead of stewing in repetitive prayer that can enhance anxious thoughts and feelings (such as “God keep my child safe. God keep my child safe. God keep my child safe.”), we can transform our prayers to be more God-confident. Here’s an example:
“God I praise you for being the God who is near. Forgive me for the amount of energy I put in trying to control every situation so I can keep my daughter safe. Lord, I feel so anxious, especially when I think of her riding the school bus.
Help me remember that you are always near her, just as you are always near me. Lord, I thank you that she has never had any incident on the school bus. I thank you for the friendly and faithful bus driver who is not only a safe driver but ensures the students are safe while on the bus.
Thank you for the friends she has and that they enjoy sitting together. Lord, thank you for being near her and keeping her safe. Lord, I pray You will be her shield of protection. Keep her safe. Fill us both with Your inexplicable peace. Every time I go to worry, help me remember that You are near her and will take care of her. In Your precious name, amen.”
The next time you feel stuck in fear or worry, try praying through these four steps of prayer and see if you experience peace descend on your body, mind, heart and spirit.
Are you in the middle of a crisis right now? Here are some additional tips to help your mental health as you pray through the four steps of prayer:
Take slow deep breaths.
While you breathe in with your nose, imagine breathing in the peace of Christ. Then hold that breath imagining filling your whole body with God’s peace. Then as you slowly exhale through your mouth, imagine exhaling anything that’s not God’s peace, like your anxiety, fear, anger, frustration, etc.
Step outside into nature and start by thanking God for His creation.
Thank God for specific things you can see, hear, smell, touch and even taste (such as the tea or coffee you might be sipping). Engaging our five senses focuses us on the present, improves our mental health, and helps our body feel more calm, peaceful and at rest.
The four steps of prayer can be done anywhere, such as walking, during a break at work, lying in bed drifting off to sleep, etc.
Invite a prayer partner to pray with you through these four steps.
If you’re a mom worried about your child (of any age), visit www.momsinprayer.org to see if there are moms in your area who get together regularly to pray through the four steps for their kids and schools.
For guided prayers, Sally Burke, president of Moms in Prayer International, and I have written a 40-day devotional, with sample prayers at the end of each devotional. Click here to view Start With Praise, published by Harvest House.
“Praying at Dawn”, Courtesy of Aaron Burden, Unsplash.com, CC0 License;
“Comfort”, Courtesy of Priscilla Du Preez, Unsplash.com, CC0 License; “Acceptance”, Courtesy of Ric Rodrigues, Pexels.com, CC0 License; “Praying”, Courtesy of Pexels, Unsplash.com, CC0 License
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Cyndie Claypool De Neve: Author
As a Christian Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) in California, I love being used by God to bring healing and hope to those who are hurting. I enjoy working with school-aged children, teens, college students, families, couples, and adult...
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Kate Motaung: Curator
Kate Motaung is the Senior Writer, Editor, and Content Manager for a multi-state company. She is the author of several books including Letters to Grief, 101 Prayers for Comfort in Difficult Times, and A Place to Land: A Story of Longing and Belonging...
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