4 Warning Signs Your Anger is Becoming a Problem

Anger is a challenging emotion to control, and it is often more prevalent than joy or happiness. Many things in life can cause it, such as traffic on the way to work, difficult coworkers, gossip, slander, and dealing with job loss.

We may encounter several things that make us angry throughout the day, and if we don’t resolve it when we feel it, it builds up until a person wants to explode. This anger is never good for our relationships.

4 Warning Signs of Anger

People who do not resolve their anger or find creative outlets to release their rage will find it creeps up in their relationships. This is a problem, but it may be evident to everyone except the person with the anger issue. Angry people show warning signs that their anger may be becoming a problem and negatively affecting their relationships. Here are four warning signs your anger is becoming a problem.

You are easily agitated

If you find yourself easily agitated at minor issues in life, your anger is a problem. People who do not resolve their anger get annoyed or irritated at minor issues such as technology, waiting in line, a favorite food out of stock, or other minor things throughout the day.

If a person with anger does not deal with the root issue behind the anger, it will become a problem. Sometimes, anger is due merely to someone’s impatience – most often their pride. However, anger is occasionally a warning sign of sadness or grief that has gone unprocessed.

Grief that remains unprocessed will lead to outbursts of anger. A person in a relationship with someone with an anger issue may question why the person is getting easily angered at them for no reason and will not be willing to continue the relationship.

The angry person may lose many relationships in their lives, compounding their grief. The angry person will experience further loss, fail to process the grief, and experience outbursts of anger which will fuel an angry personality. It becomes a vicious cycle.

The angry person will bring this baggage into new relationships but may try to hide or conceal the anger until the other person becomes more comfortable with the new relationship. Once the newness wears off, those irritations and annoyances return to haunt them, and they will need more regulation skills to control them. Lack of self-control coupled with anger will wreak havoc over and over.

Having a negative attitude

Scripture says, “Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.” What we feel in our hearts will come out of our mouths. A person with a negative attitude about everything has a heart issue. People’s hearts may be filled with sadness, grief, depression, anger, etc. This attitude may stem from a traumatic loss in their childhood or maybe a combination of losses in their lives.

For example, a person who has lost several loved ones in a short period may become easily angered. Instead of releasing that emotion through crying or tears, they may find anger is easier to express. They may find themselves gossiping about others, complaining about every situation, and allowing little things to irritate them.

It is one thing to have a bad day and have a negative attitude but find the joy in life and change that attitude. It is quite another for someone to have a negative attitude about everything. People in relationships with those with negative attitudes will find it difficult to relate to that person. Additionally, a person who is in constant company with a negative person will soon find their attitude becomes more negative.

It will be difficult for them to be in that relationship as one partner will only take from the relationship, and the other person will only give. Both parties need to give freely for the relationship to work. That means both people need to have their emotional needs for love, acceptance, and validation met through each other.

Although it is not a person’s responsibility to meet their partner’s emotional needs, people are made for companionship, connection, and intimacy. A person with a negative attitude will find they are pushing their loved ones away, causing them more grief, which is the exact thing they’re angry about in the first place.

A person with a negative attitude would benefit from doing some research on the Internet and finding coping strategies to deal with their anger. Encourage them to journal their feelings, speak positive words about their lives, read positive things, and keep themselves in a spirit of joy. A negative attitude must be rewired toward positivity, or it will not go away.

It is also worth asking yourself whether your anger is a manifestation of sinful pride. Since most anger stems from pride at some level, this change of heart will also involve repentance. Pride was the sin of Satan – and at his instigation, of Adam and Eve, the first parents of the human race. God resists pride and hates it, so it is necessary to turn from it in humble repentance and faith and to strive for new obedience to God’s command to be humble.

Resistance to becoming vulnerable

The angry person resists positive relationships in their lives. They may push away their partner simply because the angry person doesn’t want to feel like they are disappointing them. However, people who want to stop being angry must have positive people surrounding them. People become like the people they hang around.

If they have someone positive in their lives, they need to spend a lot of time with the positive person so that their attitude can be influenced by them. However, relationships thrive on intimacy and vulnerability. A person who refuses to give themselves emotionally to someone else will find the relationship stales quickly.

The person cannot thrive on superficiality, especially in marriages or other intimate relationships. A person’s anger may cause them to push the other party away, and before they realize it, they will have destroyed their relationships and done themselves a great disservice.

They will be unable to regulate this self-caused grief. A person who does not deal with the grief that’s underneath the anger’s surface will find themselves suppressing those emotions until another situation triggers it. An emotional event will trigger the person and bring their issues to the surface, making someone else the victim.

A person with an angry attitude needs to acknowledge their anger. Some people live in denial and want to blame others for their anger. However, the angry person is responsible for their own behavior and must do what is necessary to rewire their brain.

Alongside repentance (which is crucial), they must associate with positive people who will help them change their attitudes. A person who is emotionally vulnerable with others and maintains a positive attitude may eventually influence the angry person’s negative behavior for the good.

Anger outbursts at inappropriate times

Social media has not encouraged us to regulate our anger. Because social media is so prevalent, people have gotten used to expressing their anger on social media to the applause and approval of others. However, anger needs to be appropriately expressed. A person should not just rant or vent to anyone anytime, anywhere.

A person must understand how to evaluate and control anger, asking such questions as “Is my anger righteous or unrighteous?” “Is my anger justified?” “Is my anger out of control?” “Is my anger proportionate to its cause?” To help evaluate it, a person can journal about their anger or talk to someone who will help them analyze and resolve it safely and lovingly.

Anger is a common emotion. However, like everything else, it can be either sinful or righteous and must be controlled and regulated at all times. By regulating their emotions, a person can avoid allowing anger to become a problem in their lives, which may cause spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical suffering to themselves and others.

Christian Counseling For Anger Issues

If you need help learning to control your anger, Christian counseling may be advisable. Contact us today to start your journey toward self-control and relational peace.