There are many things in this world that are unsettling, and some that even inspire fear. We all have those worst-case scenarios that we dread, whether in everyday life or when we consider the broad span of our lives. These unsettling, dreadful, and even fearful things can disrupt part of your day. They can have a grip on you to the extent that fear begins to control your life and day-to-day existence.
Being able to overcome fear will help you enter spaces and do things that you may have previously thought impossible. Though fear has a place in our lives, it can hold us back and prevent us from fulfilling our potential. Not only that, but God doesn’t desire for His people to live in fear, but out of love and empowered by the Holy Spirit (1 John 4:18; 2 Timothy 1:7).
The place and purpose of fear in our lives
Fear, like the other emotions we possess, has a place in our lives. It can be tempting to deride fear as a negative emotion that doesn’t have a role to play in one’s life. Fear is a natural human emotion that serves an essential purpose for us: survival. Our world is an imperfect one, and fear has its place because there are real dangers out there.
Fear is a helpful emotion as it enables us to recognize potential threats, physical or otherwise, which gives us the chance to respond to the situation appropriately to protect ourselves from potential harm. When you encounter a physical threat, like a snake on a hiking trail, fear activates the fight or flight response, which prepares you to jump swiftly out of the path and out of harm’s way.
The other function that fear performs in our lives is that it helps us to remember and learn from our past experiences. This might be an unhealthy relationship, a bad encounter in the kitchen with a sharp knife, or an experience such as public failure. These things can be learning opportunities that can teach you what to avoid in the future. Fear of disapproval or social rejection can help restrain anti-social behaviors that undermine relationships.
These and other may be some of the benefits and functions that fear performs in our lives. The issue is when fear is overwhelming, or it becomes the determining factor for what we do or refrain from doing. For instance, fear of social rejection may prevent you from speaking truthfully, or from acting with integrity when everyone else isn’t.
When fear becomes overwhelming, excessive, or irrational, it can become harmful. It can lead to various consequences such as you compromising your values, as well as experiencing anxiety and stress. Excessive fear can negatively affect your physical and mental health. You may also find yourself avoiding certain situations or places out of fear, which can limit your lived experiences and opportunities for growth.
Therefore, while fear has a place in our lives and helps us be guarded in situations where caution is wise, letting fear run amok has the effect of derailing your life. It’s important to understand your own fear and how it affects you so that you can better manage it. When you can acknowledge and address your fears, that creates room for you to have a more fulfilling life that’s unhindered by unbridled fear.
Steps to help overcome fear
Fear can become debilitating if you let it. There are ways for you to bring your fear under control to overcome it. You may never completely get rid of your feelings of fear, but that doesn’t mean you can’t live your life and fulfill your dreams despite that fear. This can be a challenging process. However, with the right mindset, strategies, and support, it is possible to overcome your fear.
Some of the steps that you can take to overcome fear in your life include:
Identifying your fears
Fear can be insidious, especially when it goes unnamed. You may struggle to even acknowledge that you are afraid, perhaps because such an admission will affect how you view yourself. Denying the presence of fear doesn’t mean that you won’t feel afraid. It just means that fear can undermine your well-being without its presence being acknowledged.
Naming or identifying your fears helps you to begin understanding what you’re afraid of and that will help you get a handle on it. Learning how to journal can be a good place to start to identify your feelings, including your fears.
Learning to face your fears
After naming what you’re afraid of, you can learn to face those fears. This can happen in small steps as you gradually expose yourself to the things that frighten you. If you’re afraid of public speaking, you can learn to talk in front of one person or a small group like your family. You can set small challenges for yourself to become more comfortable with the things you’re afraid of.
You can learn to face your fears by taking small but consistent, active steps. Instead of taking big and bold steps, break down your fears into smaller, manageable tasks. Act on those small steps through consistent action so that your fears don’t seem so overwhelming.
Reframing your thinking
Many of our fears are rooted in unhealthy or unhelpful thoughts. You might be afraid of social settings because you feel people don’t like you or will reject you. This may be based on past experiences, and those experiences can shape every interaction. While it may be based in real experiences, your past isn’t necessarily determinative of the future.
You can challenge negative and fearful thoughts, replacing them with positive, healthy, and empowering ones.
Practicing self–care
Your overall well-being matters, and taking care of your physical, emotional, and mental well-being can help you better handle stressful or uncomfortable situations. Using relaxation techniques can help you handle your fear in the moment. When you’re well rested, when your body feels good, you’re better able to regulate your own emotions, including your fear.
Cultivating a growth mindset
When you face setbacks, the healthier mindset to adopt is to see those setbacks and challenges as opportunities for learning and growth. You’re getting better with each encounter as you face your fears, and you can learn from your setbacks as well as your successes.
It can be helpful to adopt practices such as mindfulness and gratitude. Mindfulness helps you to focus on right now. This can enable you to relinquish worries about the future or failures of the past. By practicing gratitude, you will appreciate what you have in your life. It will also position you to acknowledge and celebrate your accomplishments, no matter their size. This helps you to keep moving forward.
Seeking support
When you’re facing fear, it can isolate you from others. You can feel you are on your own, under the mistaken impression that you’re the only one who struggles with certain things. You might also believe that others will ridicule you for your fears. In many ways, this only strengthens the fear, amplifying it even as you feel you can’t admit to feeling that fear.
You can dispel much of the power of fear by acknowledging it to yourself, and by sharing the reality of that fear with others. This is a vulnerable thing to do, but being open with your fears to your loved ones or a mental health professional can help you immensely. You are not alone, and you don’t have to face your fears alone.
Reaching out for help
Overcoming fear is a journey, and it’s one that you don’t have to take alone. Be patient and compassionate with yourself as you work through your fears. Take it one step at a time. If fear is standing in the way of you enjoying your life, its likely time to meet with a counselor. Reach out to our offices today and we will make an appointment for you. A counselor can guide you toward freedom by breaking down the fears in your life.
“Pillow Fort”, Courtesy of Pixabay, Pexels.com, CC0 License; “Disbelief”, Courtesy of MART PRODUCTION, Pexels.com, CC0 License; “Support”, Courtesy of SHVETS production, Pexels.com, CC0 License; “Counseling”, Courtesy of Antoni Shkraba, Pexels.com, CC0 License
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Sterling Funk: Author
I’ve had the privilege of working with adults, teens, and families in such areas as anxiety, depression, PTSD, motivation, self-esteem, difficult life changes, men issues, value shifts and much more. Taking the plunge and getting into therapy is the...
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Kate Motaung: Curator
Kate Motaung is the Senior Writer, Editor, and Content Manager for a multi-state company. She is the author of several books including Letters to Grief, 101 Prayers for Comfort in Difficult Times, and A Place to Land: A Story of Longing and Belonging...
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