Dating Advice for Men: Tips to Consider

Dating advice for men can help or hinder, so it’s worthwhile reading and researching the right resources – and then carefully considering whether the advice offered is in line with a Biblical worldview. For the Christian man, there are several key factors to consider – and the dating advice for men which follows can be considered and applied before you start to date as well as during your dating relationship.

Dating Advice for Men from a Christian Perspective

Ask, and answer: How can we love others?
If you are looking forward to dating or are currently in a dating relationship, then ask yourself, how can we love others?

“Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.” – Matthew 22:36-40

Here Jesus explains clearly that because we love God first in each area of our lives, we will love our neighbor as a result.

If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother. – 1 John 4:20-21

In the same way, we cannot love our neighbor without first loving God. So, the first step in hearing and accepting dating advice for men would be a clear understanding that if you want to genuinely love the woman you are dating, you must first be in a loving relationship with God, because how you treat them will reflect your relationship with God.

Now consider: How is their relationship with God?
Just as the love you have for the person you are dating reflects your love for God, so is theirs. If someone has been neglecting their relationship with God, not taking the time to speak to and hear from God, then they are drawing on their own strength to love you.

You know how far you get when not relying on the Lord to fill your heart, and go about relying on your own strength and understanding. That is why the second piece of dating advice for men is to encourage their date to keep God at the center of their life.

Does the person you are dating want to attend church, join a small group, read the Bible, and pray? That’s great news, encourage this. Even if it means they spend less time with you, the more in step with the Spirit they are, the greater their capacity to love you.

Follow the Golden Rule
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you – and in this article on dating advice for men, it particularly applies to confiding in and trusting the people who know you, love you, and speak truth to you. Proverbs 27:6 reads “Faithful are the wounds of a friend…” so look for feedback from friends who love the Lord.

Keep them close to you so that they point out the state of your relationship and ensure that it remains one that honors God. Just as you want your date to hear words of truth from her Christian friends, in areas of her life where she may be drifting, or needs correction, so you should welcome it in your own.

Now consider: Are you repeating a mistake, or getting it right?
Hearing uncomfortable news or advice that challenges what we want means we get to react in one of two ways. Whether we are in the classroom, the military training yard, or elsewhere in life, the saying “do it nice or do it twice” rings true.

When looking for dating advice for men in the past, how did you respond to it? Did you implement helpful rules of behavior for yourself, habits that would keep you on the narrow path, or did you ignore the initial feedback and now find yourself looking for more, hoping that knowing the right thing to do will help?

There is a difference between knowing the right thing to do and actually doing it. By keeping an accountability group close and being prepared to work on areas in your life where you are challenged – even if the topic goes to dating advice for men. Remember, do it right the first time so you do not repeat your mistakes.

Learn your date’s love language, and use it to talk to her
In Dr. Gary Chapman’s book, The Five Love Languages (which is a book packed full of excellent dating advice for men) the author identifies that different people with different personalities give and receive love in different ways.

Dr. Chapman explains that while we each receive love in these ways, we all have a primary and secondary love language, and when addressed in our “language” we receive the love given more readily than when addressed in a “language” that does not come naturally to us. Chapman lists these love languages as receiving gifts, physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, and acts of service.

And you can work out which languages resonate with you. For example, if you remember a compliment long after you have forgotten a hug, it may be that you value words of affirmation over physical touch. In the same way, some straightforward dating advice for men would be to use good questions to not just understand your date better but also help her feel like you are listening to her, that you value your time and therefore enjoy spending time with her.

If she responds like it is Valentine’s Day come early, then it could be that one of her languages is quality time. When receiving love in your primary or secondary language you interpret it as amplified.

Lead your date to a pure marriage bed

This may be an uncomfortable topic to think about, but rather now than when you are in a steamy situation where you need to suddenly answer the question. Hebrews 13:4 says “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”

Just as we considered loving God first as sound dating advice for men, so my suggestion is to love God enough to do what he tells us to do. And if the physical side of the relationship is something you are battling with, then go to your good friends and ask them to hold you accountable.

Most of us reading dating advice for men do not have to be led into temptation – we are particularly good at finding it all by ourselves. In the heat of the moment, it is exceedingly difficult to make the right decision, without first having decided on an outcome.

Ask the Lord for strength to obey him, respect your girlfriend and lead her in a relationship that shows her what it means to put God first. Should you one day be married, you will want to continue this healthy pattern of behavior of walking in step with the Spirit, so start in the way you mean to continue.