How to Improve Communication in a Relationship: 3 Practical Tips

A relationship will fail if it lacks communication, honesty, and trust. Don’t worry if you or your spouse lacks communication skills; they can be taught. You can learn how to improve communication in a relationship with practice and patience.

Three Ways to Improve Communication in a Relationship

If you want to learn how to improve communication in a relationship, you must keep an open mind and an open heart. There will be moments when you will need to extend grace to your significant other and vice versa. If you struggle with ego, learning to apologize may be a challenge. Counseling can help you get to the bottom of your resistance to make room for improvement.

Every relationship differs, so what works for your neighbors may not work for you. You and your spouse have different personalities and, on some level, different goals or opinions. You may have been raised differently. You may handle conflict face-to-face, but your spouse is more passive-aggressive, slams doors and cabinets, and gives you the silent treatment.

As you learn more about how to improve communication in a relationship, keep in mind that there is no excuse for abuse. If your spouse is physically or mentally abusive, seek help right away.

1. Understand the other person’s personality
Everyone’s personalities differ, and these can sometimes clash. Most people have a little bit of each personality type but lean toward one or two in how they communicate. Reaching the other person in a way that is comfortable for them will help get your idea across more easily.

The following is a brief overview of some personality types:

• Someone outgoing, who loves to socialize, and is the life of the party.
• Someone who loves to help others, always volunteers for causes and at church, and shares everything they have.
• Someone who needs to know all the facts up front and what you bring to the table.
• Someone who loves competition and challenges and always has to be first.

How you communicate with each personality may differ. Your outgoing spouse craves recognition and probably has a positive mindset. Your spouse, who has never turned anyone down to help, probably does not like confrontation or, if forced to do so, will be the peacekeeper.

Your spouse, who is motivated by schedules and organization, will need you to always be honest and nonjudgmental, as they can come off as distant at times. Your spouse, who will take the hill with their dying breath, even if it’s a board game, needs a goal set before them to feel complete.

Once you realize how to communicate with your spouse, you will find that conflict resolution is easier.

2. Ask questions
Practice active listening and ask open-ended questions. Avoid shifting the blame, but start sentences with “I” during an intense conversation. Statements such as, “I was hurt when…” or “I did do that because…”

Keep distractions to a minimum during important conversations. During everyday conversations, try to look your spouse in the eye and ask for more information. When you do this, you make the other person feel special. This can be challenging with children nearby, but aim to set a good example for your children to prioritize relationships.

3. Keep from jumping to conclusions
Assumptions are easy, and the truth can be hard. During a heated moment, keep from jumping to conclusions and lashing out. Wait until you have all of the facts before making life-altering decisions.

Misinterpretation causes many problems in relationships. Be clear on your boundaries and understand your spouse’s boundaries. Stay honest with one another, even if the truth hurts. You can confide in one another when you trust the other will not judge or reject you.

If a tough conversation is highly charged, seek help from a counselor to work as a mediator. Once you learn communication skills that work in your relationship, you can draw from those skills in the future.

Remember that marriage is a covenant between a man and a woman made in the presence of God. This union mirrors our relationship with God through Jesus Christ. Stay in awe of your relationship and work to improve it.

Help to Improve Communication Skills

Improving communication in a relationship boils down to developing solid communication skills. A Christian counselor in Carlsbad, California can help you and your spouse share strategies to resolve conflict, diffuse anger, and problem-solve as a couple. Contact our office at Carlsbad, California to schedule a session that works with both of your schedules. Our reception team will connect you to a Christian counselor in Carlsbad specializing in communication, conflict, and relationship issues. Reach out today.